So, today I discussed menopause with my doctor. I discuss menopause frequently lately, whilst dripping with sweat and forgetting the names of people I know. There was something simpler and better about speaking directly to a doctor about it rather than repeating what I have learned by swimming alone or online upon a sea of… Continue reading Birth, Death, Menopause and Things Like That
Category: child loss
Holding Space
My son was sitting on the bench with me at the playground, like Susanna used to do. He did not see anyone suitable to play with. Then, the little girl arrived, followed by the rest of her family. Curly dark hair in a ponytail, fluffy tutu with flats, spring in her step, about five or… Continue reading Holding Space
The Wheat from the Chaff
There is no goodbye. Not in terms of Susanna. Two years ago yesterday was the day my daughter was buried during a day-long driving rain. I was hoping she would like the chapel with stained glass, and the winding pathways in the picturesque historical cemetery. We invited a clergy person who asked my son to… Continue reading The Wheat from the Chaff
Land of the Lost
This morning I realized my son had drawn me into his sneaker obsession. It has been new to me, this situation of sneaker release dates and elusive rare shoes to be collected rather than worn. You can never have enough. Yet, I understand obsessions and addictions of any type. We look for ways to… Continue reading Land of the Lost
Indelible
Haiku. When you want to say a lot, briefly. You need to search for words so you measure and limit your syllables. I am lost in the middle of a long weekend and have posted this on my Facebook page: Today’s Sad Haiku H and R Block form Pressed the red x near her name… Continue reading Indelible
Thanks
….”love is boundless, love is all.”
Rice a Roni
Rice a Roni. When I was a child, game shows used to give a year’s supply of Rice a Roni (the San Francisco treat) to the runner-up, the contestant who did not win a Chevrolet, a trip to Hawaii or a refrigerator. In some of my private thoughts, the ones which make me feel ashamed… Continue reading Rice a Roni
Vivir la Vida
This morning I read this quote by Helen Keller: “Death is no more than a passing from one room to another. But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in the other room I shall be able to see.” I read it the wrong way at first, having woken up with a muddy mind.… Continue reading Vivir la Vida
Want
“Want”. That is the word that explains the pain which has held me back lately, and among other things kept me from opening Word and writing. There are so many complaints and trappings piled on top, but the truth is that I ache from wanting. I want to turn off all of the noise. I… Continue reading Want
Salutation, to Today
The Sanskrit poem, “Salutation to the Dawn”, is on my mind this morning. I have been feeling drenched in sadness and confusion the last couple of days and this is a prayer/poem which often has helped me to get through rough times and restore hope. I notice that it does not insist on smiles and… Continue reading Salutation, to Today
Susanna's Golden Ball 