Susanna’s Golden New Year


New Years Day seems like a good day to start a blog. Onward and upward. This is the first year in which my daughter Susanna will not be here, in the physical body sense. Since last April 22 (Earth Day, 2014) no prior knowledge of how to live my life seems to apply in the same way. Susanna passed suddenly at the age of five after a brain aneurysm ruptured while she slept in the car. No symptoms.

How does a person deal with such a thing? I ask myself this every day when I wake up and have to place myself in this new reality, then again and again. The answer is: I will let you know when I figure it out.

I was going to start by posting a segment of a book I started writing last summer. In some ways, I have been preparing to write it for much longer. It is a set of stories about my life, and every word is true. It is written in the perspective of someone who believes in eternity, and time means less and less, all the time. I plan to live some more before I will be able to finish it. My intention is for it to be good, and I hope some people will like it. I was going to post a page or two, but today is not the right day. More to be revealed.

When Susanna was three, she came to me in princess gear with this: “Mommy, I need lips and hair. I’m going to the Golden Ball”. A friend has commented that platinum is all the rage in the other realm. I am unsure whether she may have known where she was going from the beginning, perhaps. In the meantime, those living in her wake try daily to make life a Golden Ball. So here’s to my angel princess, Happy 2015.





By trishfreer

Mother, writer, artist and teacher grappling with grief and loss.

1 comment

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: