I am still waiting on joy. There is a type of peace coming intermittently, rolling like waves together with grief. The crests sometimes peak higher than they used to. My tendency toward hope and optimism has survived and proven itself. The sun comes up every day still greeted by me. But I miss Susanna always.… Continue reading Love, Not War
Month: May 2016
Holding Space
My son was sitting on the bench with me at the playground, like Susanna used to do. He did not see anyone suitable to play with. Then, the little girl arrived, followed by the rest of her family. Curly dark hair in a ponytail, fluffy tutu with flats, spring in her step, about five or… Continue reading Holding Space
Long Spoons
Motherhood has taught me about my own introversion. It is in no way a dislike of people which drives me to solitude, but the opposite. I feel unable to separate from the pain and emotions of others for very long, this tires me out. Any introverted mother can tell you she recharges while alone and… Continue reading Long Spoons
The Wheat from the Chaff
There is no goodbye. Not in terms of Susanna. Two years ago yesterday was the day my daughter was buried during a day-long driving rain. I was hoping she would like the chapel with stained glass, and the winding pathways in the picturesque historical cemetery. We invited a clergy person who asked my son to… Continue reading The Wheat from the Chaff
Susanna's Golden Ball 