I Have Covid-19, Don’t Panic

I have COVID-19. I cannot prove it, I am not eligible for a test, but I am certain beyond a reasonable doubt. I am one of the approximately eighty percent recovering at home with no test. So grateful that this is so. This is the story. I felt it best to share this, as IContinue reading “I Have Covid-19, Don’t Panic”

Wendy

My son has a red lump on his left arm. It rose a bit at the site of a flu vaccine he received yesterday, when we visited the pediatrician for a benign ailment which has now disappeared. We waited for the doctor and I read the poster with charts: “Quantifying Morbidity and Mortality for Influenza”.Continue reading “Wendy”

Losing My Religion

My year of graduate school is almost over, the end in sight and the glorious weeks of steamy weather and solitude coming into view. I have rediscovered television again, already. Except for I Love Lucy or Roseanne when I am drinking my coffee in the morning, I have not had the time or patience toContinue reading “Losing My Religion”

Brave Face

Busy lately, and suffering from too much Brave Face. The face that masks pain in order to get work done, in order to make an appearance when I must. I wear it only sometimes for others, more often for myself. I want to be more whole than I really am. There is a small pieceContinue reading “Brave Face”

War?

It is the biggest battle, the battle with the self. I see it everywhere. People fighting, obsessing, causing strife. People working hard to create a pretense. I see it, on a clear day, as the fight we come here to witness and attempt to resolve. I especially include myself. I want to be finished, emergingContinue reading “War?”

Love, Not War

I am still waiting on joy. There is a type of peace coming intermittently, rolling like waves together with grief. The crests sometimes peak higher than they used to. My tendency toward hope and optimism has survived and proven itself. The sun comes up every day still greeted by me. But I miss Susanna always.Continue reading “Love, Not War”

The Wheat from the Chaff

There is no goodbye. Not in terms of Susanna. Two years ago yesterday was the day my daughter was buried during a day-long driving rain. I was hoping she would like the chapel with stained glass, and the winding pathways in the picturesque historical cemetery. We invited a clergy person who asked my son toContinue reading “The Wheat from the Chaff”

Land of the Lost

  This morning I realized my son had drawn me into his sneaker obsession. It has been new to me, this situation of sneaker release dates and elusive rare shoes to be collected rather than worn. You can never have enough. Yet, I understand obsessions and addictions of any type. We look for ways toContinue reading “Land of the Lost”

Indelible

Haiku. When you want to say a lot, briefly. You need to search for words so you measure and limit your syllables. I am lost in the middle of a long weekend and have posted this on my Facebook page: Today’s Sad Haiku H and R Block form Pressed the red x near her nameContinue reading “Indelible”