In light of my recent dizziness issues I took a “tilt table test” last week. My fears about it had grown enormous, but it was not that bad. The tilt table is reminiscent of the strap-laden plank in Frankenstein, the old film, which held the new monster as he was lifted and electrified into life.… Continue reading Tilt
Author: trishfreer
Mother, writer, artist and teacher grappling with grief and loss.
If I Should Stumble, Catch My Fall
School is over. Last week I watched some of my students graduate after turning twenty one, the maximum age for people with disabilities to remain in school. Seeing one of them receive an award brought me back to a class discussion a few years ago about a Kathe Kollwitz drawing. It depicts a person swooning, eyes… Continue reading If I Should Stumble, Catch My Fall
Schoolhouse Earth
Tomorrow is Father’s Day. Coinciding with the last weekend before school is over and I will be untethered for two months. My body, mind and soul feel heavy with anticipation and backwash. I apologize if that does not make sense, but I am clogged and ripe for regurgitation. I have chewed up this last ten… Continue reading Schoolhouse Earth
Brain Aneurysms Suck
Brain aneurysms suck. I have not become an expert, like I might have expected to be. Past one year now since Susanna’s aneurysm ruptured I am still busy grappling with the position of my feet on the earth. Such a wonder every day, the earth is still here and I am still on it, with… Continue reading Brain Aneurysms Suck
You Can Sing This When I’m Gone
I slept much later than usual this morning, maybe because of a long afternoon of fresh air, sunshine and mom conversation at the playground. Some part of me had fallen into a more relaxed state and I will gladly accept this. My computer screen, upon awakening, featured an old James Taylor song I had never… Continue reading You Can Sing This When I’m Gone
Screaming at Trees
There is a flowering tree a couple of blocks from our house, on the way to the playground. The pink, slightly purpled blooms are just about full now, which used to signify that we would soon be passing by frequently to play in the sprinkler and savor the length of the days. When you have… Continue reading Screaming at Trees
Walking, and Holes
I walk a lot these days. To stay strong and healthy, to try to lose weight and clear my mind. My legs are moving and my mind is wandering. So many past places to remember and visit, so many things to hear and see and imagine. Today is Susanna’s anniversary, one year since she died… Continue reading Walking, and Holes
Syncope
Syncope (via Vasovagal Response). That is medical terminology for fainting, passing out. I learned the term at a doctor’s office because it happened to me recently. I was brushing my teeth Monday morning and became suddenly very dizzy, waited for the spinning to subside and instead blacked out and fell over into the bathtub. Screamed for… Continue reading Syncope
One, Two, Three, Right Now
I searched for a file in my memory, an MTV music file. The song is “Right Now” by Van Halen. With Sammy Hagar, after David Lee Roth had left. The video is full of thought provoking bits of text and I have always remembered this line: “Right now it’s cold where someone you love is”.… Continue reading One, Two, Three, Right Now
Springing Eternal
Easter has been my favorite holiday for a long time. I am not a Christian, I glean wisdom and love from a few different religions but practice none in particular. For me it is the nature holiday of the equinox and the return of life from under the ice, resurrection. Besides matters of weather and… Continue reading Springing Eternal
Susanna's Golden Ball 