Month: January 2015
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The story of Ferdinand the bull set a tone for my life early on. I believe it was written in the thirties, the story of a Spanish bull mistakenly taken as a fighter when he was actually a gentle flower sniffer. Fighting happens and can be necessary, but I certainly do not like it. I…
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Today is Susanna’s birthday, six years since I gave birth to her. It has also become “Susanna’s Day of Kindness”, with people doing amazing things because they know about her. I am not ready to write about that today. There are intense happenings inside of me which have not crystalized into words yet. Also, I…
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I thought about getting a tattoo after Susanna died. Pictures of a potential self to become drifted through my mind at times, and for some reason she had black hair, skull shaped silver rings and tattoos. Also I understood the permanence, a person’s memory inked into your body for the life span of the body,…
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So many things make sense to me since Susanna crossed over. Nothing makes you more human than joining the universal community of the bereaved, I get that now. People who chase and escape death by daredevil sports, I get that. Celebrities who adopt children in unusual numbers, I get that. They do not want to…
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A week from Tuesday it will be six years since I gave birth to Susanna via VBAC. I began pushing at around four thirty in the afternoon and kept pushing, to no avail, for maybe ninety minutes. We made some headway (no pun intended) and finally I received some type of inspiration from within to…
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New Years Day seems like a good day to start a blog. Onward and upward. This is the first year in which my daughter Susanna will not be here. Since last April 22 (Earth Day, 2014) no prior knowledge of how to live my life seems to apply in the same way. Susanna passed…