Author: trishfreer

Mother, writer, artist and teacher grappling with grief and loss.

Unfrozen

    It’s Susanna’s birthday today. She was born sixteen years ago, during a deep freeze and snowstorm. The pipes froze while she was arriving, but the iron boiler installed in the kitchen of our new basementless home chugged on. The ice clogs within the pipes dissolved soon after, and Cesar washed the pile of dishes… Continue reading Unfrozen

“I’m Here”: A Fictional Halloween Story (2022)

It would be nice to feel sad when you want to, instead of when you do. I am sad again. I have a lot going on, more to be revealed in future blogs. I am searching for and finding various places where I belong in the world. One thing I know is that Susanna brought… Continue reading “I’m Here”: A Fictional Halloween Story (2022)

Susanna, the Sheep and My iPad

This photo just popped up from my cloud:      Susanna, in a red and white gingham dress, was talking to a sheep. Speckled beige wool poked through a wire cage at the Prospect Park Zoo. We had just fed the ducks and chickens.  Over and over, we dropped quarters upon quarters into the corn and… Continue reading Susanna, the Sheep and My iPad

Ghosts Love Christmas

Ghosts love Christmas. They get to drop in and enjoy the fun parts, without the logistical worries. I don’t know that, perhaps ghosts have worries too. I have heard they have jobs to do, and we know they are not perfect or finished beings.     They love the music and food. They spur us on… Continue reading Ghosts Love Christmas

“I Like Your Earrings”

illustration by Arthur Rackham “Sadness lets you wear stilettos, sadness lets you dance in the moonlight. She just has dark rims around her eyes.” – Tori Amos Spirit communicates in faint whispers sometimes, right below the surface. Sometimes through a voice vibrating warm in the flesh of my ear, as I awake from a dream.… Continue reading “I Like Your Earrings”

The Cailleach

The Cailleach, the Celtic crone goddess of storms and winter, wears a hood in visual interpretations. I imagine her surrounded, beneath her cloak, by cool and crisp vapor, more like that from an autumn evening than anything frightening. When I was isolating during the pandemic, I was trying to make drawings like I used to.… Continue reading The Cailleach

“I’m Here”: A Fictional Halloween Story

Essence was going to be an angel for Halloween. She had several costumes this year, some for parties that happened on other days preceding. Her mother had hesitated to buy more than one costume, worrying this might be excessive. But she bought more, for her little girl, who was deeply loved. One costume was a… Continue reading “I’m Here”: A Fictional Halloween Story

Dumb Supper

The veil is thin, October, and I am surrounded by mist. I can sometimes feel droplets, the atmosphere is cool and blurry. My awareness vacillates, I can be here or somewhere else. Susanna’s death, now years ago, pushed me toward an edge which became my home. Life/death, death/life, this blurry line is home.     My… Continue reading Dumb Supper

“Kiss the Sky for Me.”

Remote teaching has reminded me of what I know about trying to communicate with the discarnate. You know others are there, yet you are not with them, and seek validation. It’s not exactly the same but teaching art class from my kitchen makes me dig inside and hope my experience can help and inspire someone. I… Continue reading “Kiss the Sky for Me.”