I have COVID-19. I cannot prove it, I am not eligible for a test, but I am certain beyond a reasonable doubt. I am one of the approximately eighty percent recovering at home with no test. So grateful that this is so. This is the story. I felt it best to share this, as I… Continue reading I Have Covid-19, Don’t Panic
Category: healing
Dreams, and my Mom
My Mom passed a few days ago. There is much to be said about her, I loved her very much. But I am going to write about a dream I had. My Mom’s passing is the end of one story but the beginning of some others. Last week, my Mom lie resting in an… Continue reading Dreams, and my Mom
The Good Things of the World
There are drills, as there now are in every school. We call them “lockdown” but they might also be known as “active shooter” drills. I wonder about the missing pieces in the plan, such as how we cannot put full grown students in wheelchairs into cupboards to hide them. We can not silence students who… Continue reading The Good Things of the World
Losing My Religion
My year of graduate school is almost over, the end in sight and the glorious weeks of steamy weather and solitude coming into view. I have rediscovered television again, already. Except for I Love Lucy or Roseanne when I am drinking my coffee in the morning, I have not had the time or patience to… Continue reading Losing My Religion
Dolorous (A Thanksgiving Story)
Yesterday, I looked up antonyms for “grateful”. I thought I must be feeling the exact opposite. “Ungrateful” was the first entry, somehow not fitting. I went down the list and found “dolorous”. Marked by excessive grief and distress. A word which sounds like the traditional name “Dolores” from the Latin, a name meaning “sorrow” which… Continue reading Dolorous (A Thanksgiving Story)
Herbs
Maybe in heaven there are fragrances. If I have a choice, I want to be able to smell the cilantro my Significant Other chops while I am falling asleep sometimes. A lover of toppings and condiments, he likes to eat late at night and meticulously cleans and separates the leaves, then gently taps the knife… Continue reading Herbs
War?
It is the biggest battle, the battle with the self. I see it everywhere. People fighting, obsessing, causing strife. People working hard to create a pretense. I see it, on a clear day, as the fight we come here to witness and attempt to resolve. I especially include myself. I want to be finished, emerging… Continue reading War?
Love, Not War
I am still waiting on joy. There is a type of peace coming intermittently, rolling like waves together with grief. The crests sometimes peak higher than they used to. My tendency toward hope and optimism has survived and proven itself. The sun comes up every day still greeted by me. But I miss Susanna always.… Continue reading Love, Not War
Magnolias
The Japanese Magnolias, soon to be followed by the Cherry Blossoms, are here. Fleeting, time meaning nothing. When my son was younger he called the white Cherry Blossoms “Popcorn Trees”. Not because they looked like popcorn but because, he ascertained, they were popcorn. He also was certain the Dalmatian we saw at the playground was… Continue reading Magnolias
More Than a Feeling
Lately, when I am having rough days and need something to look forward to, I set up playlists on my phone and walk around the park after work. I plug in a set of bedraggled headphones my son formerly used at school, hanging clumsily with extra parts unneeded, but this is not a fashion show.… Continue reading More Than a Feeling
Susanna's Golden Ball 