It would be nice to feel sad when you want to, instead of when you do. I am sad again. I have a lot going on, more to be revealed in future blogs. I am searching for and finding various places where I belong in the world. One thing I know is that Susanna brought… Continue reading “I’m Here”: A Fictional Halloween Story (2022)
Tag: bereaved parents
Susanna, the Sheep and My iPad
This photo just popped up from my cloud: Susanna, in a red and white gingham dress, was talking to a sheep. Speckled beige wool poked through a wire cage at the Prospect Park Zoo. We had just fed the ducks and chickens. Over and over, we dropped quarters upon quarters into the corn and… Continue reading Susanna, the Sheep and My iPad
Susanna and Mii
Yesterday I had been driven inside by the cold and resorted to Wii Fit U, Free Run, in lieu of my walk in the park. The simulated run was icy in appearance, snow falling in seasonal nature graphics. Somehow it was dark in my running world though it was only 3 PM, but I did not mind following […]
Dolorous (A Thanksgiving Story)
Yesterday, I looked up antonyms for “grateful”. I thought I must be feeling the exact opposite. “Ungrateful” was the first entry, somehow not fitting. I went down the list and found “dolorous”. Marked by excessive grief and distress. A word which sounds like the traditional name “Dolores” from the Latin, a name meaning “sorrow” which… Continue reading Dolorous (A Thanksgiving Story)
You Would Miss it Too
I would give anything to hear my kids fight again. If you are reading this and have small children, I know you want the fighting to stop. Of course you do, you are a normal human who likes peace and worries that you are doing something wrong. I am just relaying this truth from a… Continue reading You Would Miss it Too
Springing Eternal
Easter has been my favorite holiday for a long time. I am not a Christian, I glean wisdom and love from a few different religions but practice none in particular. For me it is the nature holiday of the equinox and the return of life from under the ice, resurrection. Besides matters of weather and… Continue reading Springing Eternal
Life Isn’t Fair
Children have a strong sense of justice. Pretty much if a child says something is not fair, it is not. I am not a perfect mother but I never have and never would answer with “Life isn’t fair.” Life is not fair, but this is not an excuse to treat someone of any age unfairly… Continue reading Life Isn’t Fair
“I Smell Bread”
I can only speak for myself, but I have always wanted to know about the afterlife and given it a lot of thought. Why am I here, where am I going, what is the purpose, all of that, as far back as I can remember. I set out on a search this morning (via my… Continue reading “I Smell Bread”
Susanna and Mii
Yesterday I had been driven inside by the cold and resorted to Wii Fit U, Free Run, in lieu of my walk in the park. The simulated run was icy in appearance, snow falling in seasonal nature graphics. Somehow it was dark in my running world though it was only 3 PM, but I did not mind following… Continue reading Susanna and Mii
Noise, and Silence
My son is noisy to the point of hurting my ears. Not at school or in public places, there he is rather shy. I mean at home. There is much guttural screaming for the sake of screaming. There are a range of funny voices and accents and bizarre fits of laughter. Sometimes he falls into… Continue reading Noise, and Silence
Susanna's Golden Ball 